you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
