I'm jealous of your bromance
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
