Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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