Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I've blown a few things in my day
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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