If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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