also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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