I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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