Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
