My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
