I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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