When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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