we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
smell my finger.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
