If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
