if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
