In America we eat man semen.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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