carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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