some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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