I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
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Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
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there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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