Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
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No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
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My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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