Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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