Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
