It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
