the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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