Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
