aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
