I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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