i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Randomize
