I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
