3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
