Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
