I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
