U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
