3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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