I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
