Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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