I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize