If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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