I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
