Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
