come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
should my penis look like a turkey
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There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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