I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
