I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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