"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Randomize
