Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
