You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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