Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
