I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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