He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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