it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
