She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
