There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
