Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
PANTIES FOUND
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
