So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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