I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
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do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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