is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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