Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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