I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
