Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
