i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
did you just send me my own nude
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
