im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
