i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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