Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
