he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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