We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
