8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
