Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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